Monday, August 18, 2014

The Bitter Taste Of Defeat...

I am feeling defeated.

I know, I know. Wah...

But I have come really far in my journey towards being fit and giving up is not something I take lightly.

I have come to the conclusion that this bootcamp is too hard. I wheeze and huff and puff during sprints. I feel like I'm going to pass out from heat exhaustion from no air conditioning. An hour at maximum high intensity full throttle with no breaks is too much for me. It's just not working.

I. Can't. Do. It. Anymore...

That is so hard to say and admit!

I woke up this morning dreading going. I shouldn't dread it. It should be hard and challenging, but I shouldn't dread it, right?! Do people dread it? I have no idea. Everyone there says they "love" it. They say I'll get there. Well, I'm not there. Not even close.

So, I had a chat with myself this morning...  And I decided that I'm not going back. I know the key is to just go back, but how can I keep committed to something that I don't like? Or why should I stay committed to something that I don't like? I loved going to my personal trainer. I actually looked forward to it. I didn't mind driving 40 minutes to get there either! So I'm listening to my inner voice that is screaming in my ears that this isn't right for me. It's a hard pill to swallow. Crossfit and now bootcamp. Double fail.

A pep talk is needed here... I jumped rope in my backyard today. I went for a walk. I did arm weights. I will slowly build myself back up. This is a temporary setback. I will not give up. I will find another way to do it. I will be tenacious about staying fit on my own terms in a way that works for me. I will not beat myself up.


Sometimes a little venting makes a whole lot of difference.

I feel better...

Thanks for listening.


pic via pinterest

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